Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Average-looking Naked Neighbor


Having moved into a new apartment at the beginning of August, I am rapidly falling into a relationship of sorts with a naked man who I occasionally see while I'm in bed. Far from a torrid (<<<< Word of the Day!) affair, this is at worst a spat of voyeurism on my part and, perhaps at best, a little bit of neighborly checking in.
My bedroom is at the back of my apartment, carved from what was once a pretty spacious living room with the addition of a temporary wall, resulting in one smallish living room and one really small-ish bedroom. Because my bed is five feet wide and my room is only two feet broader, my bed is inevitably quite close to the window, even though it's pushed against the opposite wall. So, given this proximity, it's probably unsurprising that I noticed that the apartment across the hall is always glowing red because they leave a light on with a red lampshade (prostitutes? seems kind of unlikely...).
Then, one night, I was lying in bed and staring into the middle distance between me and the red light and a naked man appeared in what was obviously a living room type room! (Which actually makes it seem maybe more likely that there are prostitutes in that apartment). Then he went into the kitchen! Then he went back to the living room and disappeared!
While I'm not saying that I've never undressed stupidly close to my very-wide-open windows, if Average-Looking Naked Neighbor saw me naked it would be in the relative privacy of my own bedroom and I would likely be getting into or out of clothes. Whereas, when I see the Average-Looking Naked Neighbor, he is always naked, and always in a room where nudity is unusual.
Additionally, I have never, ever, even once seen a clothed person in the apartment across the air shaft, but the naked man is in his kitchen once or twice a week.
I feel like I'm on "Friends."
Do people across small open spaces in New York never wear clothes?

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