I think the main reason I object to Lori Gottlieb's Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough is not so much the whole "I'm 23 and the idea of settling just to get married seems abhorrent," which is more of a "me" thing and less of a profound truth (then again, her argument for settling seems to be more of a "her" thing as well, but I digress), but that it started as an Atlantic article. In my heart of hearts -- and in the heart, or at least the spin, of Gottlieb's publicist -- I'd want to believe that she wrote the book, and the article for that matter, because she had battled with an inner demon, came out on top, and then wanted to share her feelings with the world (via the Atlantic) and then with the wider world that doesn't subscribe to the Atlantic (via the book) so that they could face down this same demon and hopefully use her advice to also come out on top.

But like... probably not, right? Because, aside from having a wildly successful blog, writing a punchy and hotly debated magazine article is pretty much the fastest track to a book deal. So it seems just as likely that Gottlieb was sitting at home and instead of thinking "I want to help people find a husband" thinking "I want to have a moment of semi-fame and also a book deal"* and wrote a piece she knew would ruffle the proverbial feathers.

Which is, again, fine. Go for it. I just feel kind of bad for all the people who are actually ruffled, not by quasi-feminist angst and the protective bubble of their early twenties, but women who already do feel a little bad about not being married and who probably don't need someone's book-deal ploy to make them feel worse or at least confirm that they should feel bad, perhaps even more than a little.

Then again, this is mostly conjecture and I can't claim to truly know Gottlieb's motives or have read the book. For that matter, I wouldn't even have given it a second thought except my alumni magazine wrote a review and it happened to be on the dinner table while I was eating. So I'm doubly (and perhaps triply or quadruply) insulated against its advice, sage or otherwise.

*Itself not a particularly uncommon or objectionable thought. I actually find this way easier to swallow/empathize with than a matchmaker compulsion.